i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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