My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
