Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
