guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
