Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
