So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
