oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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