i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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