Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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