No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
