I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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