when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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