What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
