everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
