Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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