Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Pants are for mortals
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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