STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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