I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
