you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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