I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
