Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
