So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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