Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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