even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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