Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
