so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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