I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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