the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There are leaves in my underwear?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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