We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
