so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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