i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
