I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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