We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Small penises have feelings too.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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