I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
