I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
