you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
