tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
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