forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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