puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
