it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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