As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
