come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
