Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
