i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
