belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
