Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
