So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
