i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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