I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
