Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize