I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
3pm strippers are depressing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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