I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
