I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
