Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Boobs speak an international language.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
