i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
