How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
