words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
