Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
