good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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