I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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