Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize