6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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