its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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