Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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