BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
