k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
