it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
