i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
