what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
