All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
