yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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