Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
