You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
