honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
